Something different today: I will dump little or no democratic theory on anybody, and hold off on my discussion of Recall until next time. Instead, here is a quick muse on the psychological toll that living in a country that is now so obviously corrupt, power-hungry, and simply evil may take--even on those who were never under any illusions about their country ever being particularly altruistic.
I have written here before about the current administration causing me to hide under my bed, but I should admit that was partially based on the theory, formerly held by J.D. Vance, that Trump might be America's Hitler. That, along with my half -Sephardic (Damascus), half Ashkenazy (Munich) bloodlines and the "Jews will not replace us!" business scared me. (My father was a Holocaust survivor, my mother's family was expelled in a Syrian pogram.)
But the close Roy Cohn, Jeffrey Epstein, Stephen Miller connections seem to have held. In any case, I have come to doubt there will be much danger from the current Administration on the anti-Semitism front. Maybe every dark-skinned or foreign born resident has good reason to worry, but it seems pretty clear to me that there is no imminent personal danger to me or my non-observant family.
As indicated, though, my bed-burrowing was only partially a result of that particular fear. Most of it stemmed from constantly watching, reading or seeing news or commentary that clearly demonstrates how awful we have become as a nation. So, maybe not Hitler, but Putin or Netanyahu. Worse than Orban or Berlusconi anyhow.
This has not merely been mildly troubling to me, but painful, just as it is to a number of my friends. And some of these poor souls have entirely given up watching or reading news. Of course, these decent folk likely have better--or at least less obnoxious--reasons for their psychological state than I do. Many of them think--or thought--that the U.S. was special: a beacon of decency in the world. They admired our post-WWII activities as well as our Constitution and now suffer from what they consider a precipitous fall from virtue. However we may be doing personally, as a nation pretty much everything that can be ruined has been ruined.
But how were we as a nation prior to the current thuggery? I have never been particularly knowledgeable about U.S. foreign policy myself, but have had the pretty clear sense that, at least since Vietnam, it has quite often been contemptible. And, as any regular readers of this blog will know, I think our Constitution is, in a word, terrible. Maybe OK for its day, but nearly useless today. So....why am I so upset every time I now hear the word "Greenland" or "Midterms" on the news now? And why do I (just as the asswits on Fox News accuse me each day and night) take no pleasure from any new high reached by any stock exchange or a promise of checks soon being sent to every poor citizen?
Certainly, at least part of my response has a noble element: I don't want my (the? this?) country to hurt more people, to discriminate further or to accelerate its abuse to Earth's fragile environment. That aspect seems defensible. But honestly, my psychological torment mostly doesn't stem from anything so noble. And I recognize that the country has never been much like a real democracy, so I don't--and shouldn't--have any feeling of personal responsibility for the terrible things the U.S. is now up to. It's them, not me.
Could it be that others, both here and abroad nevertheless find each American culpable--at least to some minute degree--for the country's current degradation, and I am pained by that? It's possible, but I really don't think so. My friends, along with most people with any sense anywhere, realize that MAGA is not the U.S.
Well, what is it then?
Let me say first that I have no idea who the kind and likely masochistic people are who read this blog (Thanks, btw). I note that I have begun forwarding these posts to Substack, where one's reader list is public. Here, there's not even a whiff of a hint of a clue available to me, just a numeric total. So there's no way to know, e.g., if any of my readers here also (at least occasionally) listen to a bit of my music. For all I know, every one of you is a poli-sci student in the Balkans who is required by his/her instructor to read at least one example of bad American political philosophy once every two months. Or maybe it's just to help recognize awkward English.
I wonder about this, because the (also teensy, of course) number of people who do care to take in a bit of my musical rants once in a while may know that my improvs have been pretty melancholy of late. Consider this and this. Those dear souls will therefore recognize my inflamed state and may already have attributed it to things I have denied above.
Well then, what the heck is causing it? If it's not either a fall from prior grace or a fear that others may think I sympathize with the evil, stupid grotesqueries of Trump and his associates? And if it's also not anything that is likely to personally affect me or my family or friends in the near future, what is producing my increased sickness unto death? Am I really more altruistic than I let on? Feverish about the harm being done to those I don't know and will likely never meet?
Well, if anybody cares, I think I may have figured it out; and in my own particular case (I absolutely make no accusations about anybody else!) I have to admit that it isn't very flattering. I believe it is the result not just of hyper-polarization, which, of course, is affecting pretty much everybody in the world at present, but mostly results from what is simply an unappealing personality trait of mine.
I want MAGA supporters to suffer, and it pains me deeply when they prevail on any matter. This, I believe, is partly a matter of wanting to be right, even hoping that a little harm befalls those who disagree with me. So, e.g., when the Dow goes up, or Hegseth kills some poor fisherman, or we "annex" another country, and this makes MAGA gleeful, I am consequently desolate.
In my defense, while this way of reacting is sure to be more a function of childish habits of handling conflict than anything one ought to be proud of, it is also deep-seated and not anything that it would be easy for any septuagenarian to "fix."#
Again, I don't mean even to hint that more than the tiniest fraction of my fellow-sufferers share this unseemly characteristic. But in my own case, I can't deny a long-standing proclivity to revel in the failure of those with views adverse to mine, and to agonize over their successes.
Anyhow, even if you are wildly different from me with respect to this unattractive characteristic--as you almost certainly are!--you too may benefit from figuring out precisely why the nightly news pains you so much. If, e.g., it is purely altruistic in your case, that is something you can be proud of. Perhaps that will help.
Whatever may be the causes of your own feelings of helplessness, I sincerely hope that you can benefit from a similar investigation into their emergence. (And maybe in your case--unlike mine-- attending protests or having discussions with like-minded others will help.)
So, hang in there!! IT may not ever get better, but YOU can.
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* I apologize for not trying to explain this cryptic title, but tbh, I don't really understand it myself. It came to me in a dream....even with an accompanying tune! (And it may actually have been "ready" rather than "constant" and/or "player" rather than "dancer.")
# In a way this sort of flaw isn't very different from my rooting for opponents of the New England Patriots football team. It's partly anti-homer, partly anti-favorite, partly anti-Kraft. Undeniably, there is a nasty, contrarian streak in me that results in my rooting not just for underdogs, but against those who identify with favorites.
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