Something different today: I will dump little or no democratic theory on anybody, and hold off on my discussion of Recall until next time. Instead, here is a quick muse on the psychological toll that living in a country that is now so obviously corrupt, power-hungry, and simply evil may take--even on those who were never under any illusions about their country ever being particularly altruistic.
I have written here before about the current administration causing me to hide under my bed, but I should admit that was partially based on the theory, formerly held by J.D. Vance, that Trump might be America's Hitler. That, along with my half -Sephardic (Damascus), half Ashkenazy (Munich) bloodlines and the "Jews will not replace us!" business scared me. (My father was a Holocaust survivor, my mother's family was expelled in a Syrian pogram. I am almost entirely uninterested in "my heritage" or old religions, myself.)
In any case, the close Roy Cohn, Jeffrey Epstein, Stephen Miller connections our dear leader seem to have held. There are a certain group of gentiles who are attracted to the "excellent doctors" or "money people" "or savvy lawyer Jews" who are happy to do tasks for them. So, I have come to doubt there will be much danger from the current Administration on the anti-Semitism front. Maybe every dark-skinned resident has good reason to worry, but it seems pretty clear to me that there is no imminent personal danger to me or either my non-observant close family or the extended batch with whatever their share of cuckoo beliefs or traditions might be.
As indicated, though, my bed-burrowing was only partially a result of that particular fear. Most of it stemmed from constantly watching, reading or seeing news or commentary that clearly demonstrates how awful we have become as a nation. So, maybe not Hitler, but Putin or Netanyahu. Worse than Orban or Berlusconi anyhow.
This has not merely been mildly troubling to me, but painful, just as it is to a number of my friends. And some of these poor souls have entirely given up watching or reading news. I think, though, that these decent folk likely have better--or at least less obnoxious--reasons for their psychological state than I do. Unlike me, many of them think--or thought--that the U.S. was special: a beacon of decency in the world. They admired our post-WWII activities as well as our Constitution, and they now suffer from what they consider their country's precipitous fall from virtue. This, although they may agree with me that, however we may be doing personally, as a nation pretty much everything that can be ruined has been or is currently being ruined.
But how were we as a nation prior to the current thuggery? I have never been particularly knowledgeable about U.S. foreign policy myself, but have had the pretty clear sense that, at least since Vietnam, it has quite often been contemptible. And, as any regular readers of this blog will know, I think our Constitution is, in a word, terrible. Maybe OK for its day, but nearly useless today. So....why am I so upset every time I now hear the word "Greenland" or "Midterms" on the news now? And why do I (just as the asswits on Fox News accuse me each day and night) take no pleasure from any new high reached by any stock exchange or self-serving promise to send checks -- or maybe Chinese-made mobile phones with mis-designed U.S. flags on them -- soon being sent to every poor citizen (or their newborns)?
Certainly, at least part of my response has a noble element: I don't want my (the? this?) country to hurt more people, to discriminate further or to accelerate its decimation of Earth's fragile environment. I recognize the K-shape of the economy and who is actually benefitting from stock market rises. Those causes of my pain seem defensible. And, partly because I recognize that the country has never been much like what I would designate an authentic democracy, I get that I don't--and shouldn't--have feelings of personal responsibility for the terrible things the U.S. is now up to. But to be perfectly honest, my psychological torments mostly don't stem from anything noble.
Well, what then? Could it be a concern that others, both here and abroad, nevertheless do find each American culpable for the country's current degradation -- at least to some degree -- and that I am embarrassed by that? I suppose that's possible, but I really don't think it's the case. My friends, along with most people with any sense anywhere, realize that MAGA is not the U.S. This decimation isn't even a little bit my fault.
Well then, what the heck is making me so distraught? If it's not either a fall from prior grace or a fear that others may think I sympathize with the evil, stupid grotesqueries of Trump and his associates, and it's also not anything that is likely to personally affect me or my family or friends in the near future...what is producing my increased sickness unto death? Am I really more altruistic than I recognize -- feverish about the harm being done to those I don't know and will likely never meet?
Well, if anybody cares, I think I may have figured it out; and in my own particular case (I absolutely make no accusations about anybody else!) I have to admit that my diagnosis isn't very flattering, and not just a result of hyper-polarization, which, of course, is affecting pretty much everybody in the world at present. Rather, I believe it mostly stems from a simple yet unappealing personality trait.
It's partly a matter of wanting to be right about nearly everything, which I suppose is only natural, but it's also a matter of secretly hoping that a little harm might befall those who disagree with me. And again, this is not just because I believe their views are harmful to the populace, though of course I do think that. I mean, it not just when Hegseth gets drunk and kills another poor fisherman, or we "annex" another country, but even when the Dow reaches a new high. If it something makes MAGA gleeful, I will be unhappy. That is not an admirable trait.
To give what I suppose is a causal defense, even if my way of reacting to the news of the day is manifestly nasty, it's a function of childish habits, something fairly deep-seated that would be very difficult for any septuagenarian to "fix."#
Unlike the right-wing media, I do not suggest that more than the tiniest fraction of my fellow-sufferers share this unseemly characteristic of mine. But in my own case, it would be hard to deny a long-standing proclivity to revel in the failures and even the unhappiness of those with views adverse to mine, and to agonize over their successes.
Mea maxima culpa.
MUSICAL CODA
Let me add in closing this little "self-analysis" that I have no idea who the lovely -- and perhaps a little masochistic -- people are who read this blog (Thanks, btw.) Not long ago, I began forwarding these posts to Substack, where one's reader list is public. Here, there's not even a whiff of a hint of a clue available, just a numeric total. I mention this because while my blog has now passed the 50k view threshold, there's no way to know if any of my readers here also at least occasionally listen to a bit of my music. [For all I know, every one of you is a deaf poli-sci student living in the Balkans who is required by his/her instructor to read this blog regularly to provide numerous examples of the kind of awkward English that should be avoided by cogent writers.
In any event (also teensy, of course) number of people who do care to take in a bit of my musical rants occasionally will know that my improvs have also been pretty melancholy of late. Consider this and this. Perhaps such listener/readers will have already recognized my inflamed state and already attributed it to the sorts of things I mention above.
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# I think this flaw of mine isn't entirely separable from my rooting for opponents of the New England Patriots football team. I am generally anti-homer, anti-favorite, and anti-Kraft. But in spite of the fact that there are good reasons for everybody to dislike that team, I can't honestly deny that there is a nasty, contrarian streak in me that results in my rooting not just for underdogs, but against those who identify with teams for reasons that don't happen to appeal to me. I seem absolutely incapable of rooting for "the home team" or as it's now said, "the laundry." If I wanted to take credit for this attitude, I might say that "I am a citizen of the world or even of the universe. I don't have silly favorites of that type." But deep down, I recognize that my stance actually makes me a bit of an asshole.
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