Something different today: I will dump little or no democratic theory on anybody, and hold off on my discussion of Recall until next time. Instead, here is a quick muse on the psychological toll that living in a country that is now so obviously corrupt, power-hungry, and simply evil may take--even on those who were never under any illusions about their country ever being particularly altruistic.
I have written here before about the current administration causing me to hide under my bed, but I should admit that was partially based on the theory, formerly held by J.D. Vance, that Trump might be America's Hitler. That, along with my half -Sephardic (Damascus), half Ashkenazy (Munich) bloodlines and the "Jews will not replace us!" business scared me. (My father was a Holocaust survivor, my mother's family was expelled in a Syrian pogram. I am almost entirely uninterested in "my heritage" or old religions.)
In any case, the close Roy Cohn, Jeffrey Epstein, Stephen Miller connections seem to have held. There are a certain group of gentiles who are attracted to the "excellent doctors" or "money people" "or savvy lawyer Jews" who are happy to do tasks for them. So, I have come to doubt there will be much danger from the current Administration on the anti-Semitism front. Maybe every dark-skinned resident has good reason to worry, but it seems pretty clear to me that there is no imminent personal danger to me or either my non-observant close family or the extended batch with whatever their share of cuckoo beliefs or traditions might be.
As indicated, though, my bed-burrowing was only partially a result of that particular fear. Most of it stemmed from constantly watching, reading or seeing news or commentary that clearly demonstrates how awful we have become as a nation. So, maybe not Hitler, but Putin or Netanyahu. Worse than Orban or Berlusconi anyhow.
This has not merely been mildly troubling to me, but painful, just as it is to a number of my friends. And some of these poor souls have entirely given up watching or reading news. Of course, these decent folk likely have better--or at least less obnoxious--reasons for their psychological state than I do. Unlike me, many of them think--or thought--that the U.S. was special: a beacon of decency in the world. They admired our post-WWII activities as well as our Constitution, and they now suffer from what they consider their country's precipitous fall from virtue. They may agree with me that, however we may be doing personally, as a nation pretty much everything that can be ruined has been or is currently being ruined.
But how were we as a nation prior to the current thuggery? I have never been particularly knowledgeable about U.S. foreign policy myself, but have had the pretty clear sense that, at least since Vietnam, it has quite often been contemptible. And, as any regular readers of this blog will know, I think our Constitution is, in a word, terrible. Maybe OK for its day, but nearly useless today. So....why am I so upset every time I now hear the word "Greenland" or "Midterms" on the news now? And why do I (just as the asswits on Fox News accuse me each day and night) take no pleasure from any new high reached by any stock exchange or a promise of checks soon being sent to every poor citizen?
Certainly, at least part of my response has a noble element: I don't want my (the? this?) country to hurt more people, to discriminate further or to accelerate its decimation of Earth's fragile environment. I recognize the K-shape of the economy and who is actually benefitting from stock market rises. Those aspects seems defensible. And, partly because I recognize that the country has never been much like what I would designate an authentic democracy, I get that I don't--and shouldn't--have feelings of personal responsibility for the terrible things the U.S. is now up to. But to be perfectly honest, my psychological torments mostly don't stem from anything noble.
Well, what then? Could it a concern that others, both here and abroad nevertheless do find each American culpable for the country's current degradation -- at least to some degree -- and that I am pained by that? It's possible, but I really don't think so. My friends, along with most people with any sense anywhere, realize that MAGA is not the U.S.
Well then, what the heck is causing it? If it's not either a fall from prior grace or a fear that others may think I sympathize with the evil, stupid grotesqueries of Trump and his associates? And if it's also not anything that is likely to personally affect me or my family or friends in the near future, what is producing my increased sickness unto death? Am I really more altruistic than I let on? Feverish about the harm being done to those I don't know and will likely never meet?
Well, if anybody cares, I think I may have figured it out; and in my own particular case (I absolutely make no accusations about anybody else!) I have to admit that it isn't very flattering. I believe it is the result not just of hyper-polarization, which, of course, is affecting pretty much everybody in the world at present, but mostly results from what is simply an unappealing personality trait of mine.
I think in my case that it's partly a matter of wanting to be right, but also partly hoping that a little harm might befall those who disagree with me. And not just because I believe their views are harmful to the populace. So, e.g., when the Dow goes up, or Hegseth kills some poor fisherman, or we "annex" another country, and this makes MAGA gleeful, I am admittedly unhappy. That is not an admirable trait.
In my defense, while this way of reacting is sure to be more a function of childish habits of handling conflict than anything one ought to be proud of, it is also deep-seated and not anything that it would be easy for any septuagenarian to "fix."#
Again, I don't mean even to hint that more than the tiniest fraction of my fellow-sufferers share this unseemly characteristic of mine. But in my own case, I can't deny a long-standing proclivity to revel in the failures and even the unhappiness of those with views adverse to mine, and to agonize over their successes.
MUSICAL CODA
Let me say in closing my little kvetch that I have no idea who the lovely -- and perhaps a little masochistic -- people are who read this blog (Thanks, btw.) I have begun forwarding these posts to Substack, where one's reader list is public. Here, there's not even a whiff of a hint of a clue available, just a numeric total. So there's no way to know, e.g., if any of my readers here also at least occasionally listen to a bit of my music. For all I know, every one of you is a deaf poli-sci student in the Balkans who is required by his/her instructor to read this blog at least one example to assist in the recognition of awkward English.
I wonder about this, because the (also teensy, of course) number of people who do care to take in a bit of my musical rants once in a while will know that my improvs have also been pretty melancholy of late. Consider this and this. Those dear souls will therefore recognize my inflamed state and may already have attributed it to things I have denied above.
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# I think this flaw of mine isn't entirely separable from my rooting for opponents of the New England Patriots football team. It's partly anti-homer, partly anti-favorite, partly anti-Kraft. But in spite of the fact that there are good reasons for everybody to dislike that team, I really can't deny that there is a nasty, contrarian streak in me that results in my rooting not just for underdogs, but against those who identify with teams for reasons that don't happen to appeal to me. I seem absolutely incapable of rooting for "the home team" or "the laundry." If I wanted to take credit for this, I might say that I am a citizen of the world or even of the universe. But deep down, I recognize that that kind of attitude actually makes me a bit of an asshole.
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